The Pooper

Front yard at my former house, Photo by Matt Murray

Did I get your attention with the title? I’m sure I did. You’re reading this now.

I had to laugh when I was writing this story. Just the title itself makes me laugh. It’s not every day you see a story named like this.

I tried to figure out how to stretch this story longer but it’s hard to figure out a bunch of words with some of these subjects.

An elderly couple bought the house to the north of my place. It was a three bedroom, two bath with a two-car garage and a screened-in patio in the rear. They were in their seventies. They both had gray hair. The man wore glasses. They became friends with “The Van Guy”. They were snowbirds and only lived there for six months out of the year. They lived in Michigan the other six months.

They had a dog. It was a small dog. I can’t remember the color and breed. They would walk it multiple times a day just like every other person who owns a dog does all the time. But this was different. Instead of taking the dog down the sidewalk, they would come over to my front yard.

You know where this is going right? You should with the title.

Each day I would find a mound in the front yard. If you look at the photo, it was in the yard near the tree. So it was the grass closest to the road.

They would never let their dog go to the bathroom in their yard. Dogs apparently don’t like to go in their own yard anyway. It was always mine. It got bad. How bad?

This is how bad. I confronted them when they were getting ready to go out in their car. I told them to stop walking their dog in my yard and letting it go to the bathroom. They told me, to my face, that it didn’t happen. Then as I’m standing on the sidewalk, they walked the dog into my front yard and had it go poop. They didn’t pick up after it.

What happened next is probably going to surprise you but I was furious with these people. You can only push a person so far.

I ran into my garage and got the shovel. I picked up the poop and as they were backing out, I threw the poop into their driveway. LOL!!!!!🤣🤣

They didn’t ever do it again. I guess they didn’t like it in their driveway either. If they would have just picked it up, I wouldn’t have had a problem.

Shortly after this, they went back to Michigan. Then a few months later, the wife came back and told The Van Guy across the street that her husband had passed away. I could hear her say that he always liked him.

A few months later, the house was sold again.

Conclusion

To all those dog walkers and owners out there, please pick up after your pet.

I live in a condo now, so you would think I don’t come across any “crap” anymore but you would be mistaken. They have actual dog stations where people can get free bags to pick up their dog’s business and baskets to deposit them in. Do they use them? Yes and No. 90% of the time they use the bags and drop it in there after use. Once in a while, I come across someone who has not used the stations or has not used their own bag. I have seen little mounds and huge mounds (definitely big dog). I don’t know how these people can do that. If they don’t want to pick it up, then don’t have a dog. I think it is the people who live in the adjacent apartment buildings. Ever since they built those inside our condo area, we have had problems.

Until next time, happy reading!

-Matt